I think there’s an illusion in the approach of pregnant women today that someone else will deliver their baby. It’s almost as if because we’re so medically “advanced”, we think the doctors or midwives are actually delivering our baby for us. While my husband and I were taking a tour of the hospital where my son was born, one of the midwives was asked how she could deliver the baby when the mom was in a birthing tub. Without even thinking, she said, “I am not the one who delivers your baby. You do that. I just catch him as he comes out.”
Hmmm. I realized I hadn’t thought of it that way before. I had also fallen into the same thought pattern. That I just needed to show up at the hospital and they would do all the work for me.
But delivering a baby is little about what happens as the child actually breaks out and breathes in air for the first time. It’s much more about the process leading up to this moment. And the choices the mom makes for how she can best deliver her baby.
I think many women today are afraid of this process. They feel like they can’t actually do it themselves and that the pain would be unbearable if they tried. As they start to think about how they plan to handle delivery, they start evaluating how high of a pain tolerance they think they have and if they will need an epidural or not.
But wait a second. If I am going to be the one who needs to actually dilate, move my baby down, and then push him out maybe I should consider how effective I think each option will be in helping me do this. Maybe I should focus less on pain and more on the process I’m going to need to go through.
I used to think someone else would deliver my baby for me. But now I know I am the one who has to do it.